remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
