By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
