There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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