I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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