So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
