brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
