Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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