Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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