Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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