i think my tv is drunk
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
