I'm going to jail i love you
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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