ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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