did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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