I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
