she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Can I color on your dick again?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
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