No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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