do herpes really smell.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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