i think my mom watched the whole time
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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