the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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