lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize