And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
