Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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