my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Can I color on your dick again?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize