she looked like the before picture.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
