If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
