after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
