Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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