When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
