my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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