??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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