She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
