Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
