I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Sex in the backyard? Check.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
