There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
