i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
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