we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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