I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
