I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
