Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
our cab driver is having phone sex.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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