If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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