HIV tests are more positive than that guy
so that wasnt chicken after all
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
