So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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