I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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