My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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