If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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