hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
