he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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