We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
