we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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