His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
