This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
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In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
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And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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