.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
