Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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