just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Randomize
