Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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