All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize
