Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
