I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
