she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
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He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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