I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
