two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
